A Cole World

This isn’t an article reviewing the song of the same title by Halsey (even though I do suggest you Google it). No, it’s much bigger than that. This is about us. This is about America. We are living in a new age. A changing and even chaotic time in America. From racial and religious debates to political wars, we’re living in what I would call the “New Americana” age. An age that, hopefully one day, we can look back and think about all of the positive change we were a part of. How we made America a better America. But it isn’t going to happen over night. We still have very far to go. I’m writing this right now because I know because of my social privledge that I have because of basic factors of skin color and sexual preference, more people may listen, not because I’m smarter (believe me I’m not), but because of what should be meaningless labels. We still have LGBT Americans who are still fighting for equal rights and many still fighting against the hatred they face every day for the way they were born. We still have African Americans who are fighting an uphill battle against being judged, hated, and even killed because of the color of their skin. We still have other ethinic groups, including African Americans, who have had their culture appropriated by white culture. People like Muslims, who are judged as a whole for what people of their ethnicity have done, and not in singularity for how each person truly is. We still have women, of any descent, who are still viewed as less by many men and treated as such economically. I can go on and on, but I’m sure my point is made clear: we still have plenty of change left to be made before we can look back at this “New Americana” as such. Many will ask, “Well, do you have a definite answer to solve all of these problems?” No. No I don’t. But I do know what can get the ball rolling. Before we can change who we are as a whole, we first must look at ourselves as individuals. Look at you’re fellow person, not as gay, or straight,  black, or white, Christian, or Muslim… Look at them as a human. We all come from the same place. Regardless of whether or not we agree on how that is, we are of the same race: the human race. All of these other labels should mean absolutely nothing in the scheme of things. No one is greater than any other. We are all human. We all make mistakes. We may not agree upon the same things, but that shouldn’t detour us from getting along and being better people. Naturally, as human beings, we will never agree 100% on any topic, but we can be more understanding of each fellow human being. We can’t get to a greater America staying so seperate and defensive over ones opinion. We have to join together, see each person as their own, and create a better life for everyone. Then, we’ll truly be living as the “New Americana”.

So before we begin, let’s backtrack a little bit to about seven months ago… I woke up on that November morning just like any other: I got dressed, ate breakfast and showered to prepare for classes that day… And then my phone rang. It was my mom. And she hit me with news that would affect the way I looked at my life forever.

One of my former high school classmates had died in a car accident earlier that morning. I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t. It was the first classmate my graduating class had lost, and when the funeral came, we were almost all there together to mourn the passing and celebrate the life that our dear friend had lived… But right after the funeral, I had to leave. I had to leave to be back in Mobile (my current residence and my “second home”) to fulfill my duties as a student manager for the basketball team. I won’t ever forget that feeling I felt driving back to Mobile. I felt like I didn’t get a proper chance to pay my respects or spend time with the ones I love, many I hadn’t seen in a year or two’s time. And that’s when, even though I didn’t know it at the time, everything began to change…

Fast forward to the present day, and I’m still in Mobile, but one thing has changed about me: I don’t have my job as a manager anymore. You see, back in November, I didn’t know it at the time, but my mind and heart were collaborating on a decision for me to leave my job, the one I had for two years. The job I poured my heart and soul into. The job I thought would lead me into a career in coaching (which I no longer want to do, by the way). The job that helped me meet and grow relationships with so many amazing people. Ultimately though, there’s one thing that job couldn’t give me: my happiness.

There’s a quote from my favorite TV series of all time, Chuck (which by the way, if you’ve never watched, you need to. Steal a friends Netflix account if you don’t have your own, cause you’ll thank me later), that sums up my situation perfectly (it’s at the end of Chuck Versus the Frosted Tips by the way): “Don’t confuse your job with your life.” That’s exactly what I had been doing for the past two years. I have always loved basketball since I started playing it when I was in 5th grade. I was never the most talented, but I had a natural love and passion for the game. I wanted to continue to be a coach after my high school playing days were over, and I was blessed enough to be given a job as a student manager for the University of South Alabama (Go Jags!) Men’s Basketball team. It was gonna get me where I wanted to go as a coach, and it could have and did to a point. I can’t say enough how well I was treated by everyone in the program, and I’m forever thankful for all they’ve done for me these past two years. But I never was truly happy.

No, I never was truly happy. Being a manager took up a ton of my time outside of classes I take, and just like in everything, I gave 110% of my effort and time to it, sometimes with negative consequences. Many times I’d come home exhausted and lay on my couch and do nothing until I went to bed, creating unhealthy habits. So when I took that drive back to Mobile that day I had the thought, and it quickly formed over time, that all this wasn’t worth it. If I had to sacrifice a majority of my time and give up precious time with family and friends, not to mention all the things I’ve always dreamed of doing, it wasn’t ultimately worth it. But basketball was so ingrained in me. I couldn’t easily give it up. So I battled, until one day in January I realized something: basketball didn’t have to be my identity. It didn’t have to take up all of this time for me to love it. I could concentrate on other things and still love this game, even if it was from a further distance than I was accustomed to.

So that’s where I stand now. I’m officially an unemployed, normal college student. I gave up a great job with great people behind it… For uncertainty, but in that uncertainty lies so much untapped happiness. I can finally travel with my family. I can spend time with friends that I rarely get to see. I can just be a fan at games now. I can work on my new career path of wanting to work in athletic marketing and social media. I can just relax and enjoy days off, which is nearly a foreign word in the career field I originally wanted to go into.

Through all of this, I’ve learned that everyone deserves to be happy, but not everyone knows how to get there.  I’ve learned how to get myself there. I’ve always felt blessed and appreciative for all I have, all the people I know, and all the opportunities I’ve been given. I can feel this joy more often, because now I can stop and think about it and just enjoy life. We all deserve to have time to just enjoy life and the things we have, because if we don’t, sometimes we tend to forget about it.

When I first started my job, I was told one major thing that always stuck with me throughout, and that is “We (basketball) don’t slow down for you; you speed up for us.” I never knew there was more than one speed that wasn’t full throttle. Now I know, and I’m not speeding up to run to see what’s next. I’m gonna slow down, walk, and enjoy what’s around me now. Enjoy MY life. Because in the end, that’s the only one I have.

(I promise you guys all my post won’t be as personal as this one! I’ve sat on this one for a while and wanted to just give everyone a sense of where I am and what I’m wanting to do now. This blog will be getting a lot more love and effort from me this summer when things slow down and I learn more about this business and how to operate WordPress. There are a lot of big things in the works, so stay tuned and enjoy!)